Saturday, October 31, 2009
Getting More Interesting
We just said "yes" to having our profile shown to three different birth mothers. That doesn't mean much quite yet, but if one of those birth mothers picks us, things will start getting very exciting very quickly.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Widening Our Horizons
Today we faxed our application to an adoption referral service, Faithful Adoption Consultants. We are "branching out" a little, since all is so quiet on the Open Door front.
The referral service has her finger in many adoption "pies" so to speak. When an agency has more babies than adoptive parents, they reach out to referral services who have a pool of clients. (We are now in one of those pools.) The referral service basically puts its clients in touch with more agencies, without the clients having to pay an application fee and do all the paperwork for each of those agencies. The additional fee, paperwork, and affiliation with the agency only comes into play at such time as a match occurs (birthmother chooses a couple, couple says yes).
Courtney at Faithful Adoption Consultants has a very strong track record for fast placements. She was recommended to us by an acquaintance who was recently matched with a baby due in early November.
We are still in the queue with Open Door as well. However, if we are matched with another agency through Faithful Adoption Consultants, we will have to notify Open Door immediately, per our agreement with them and out of fairness to birth mothers. We would want to avoid any situation where two birth mothers might choose us, and we'd end up having to disappoint one.
For the moment, this "branching out" has only the effect of making our pocketbooks a little lighter. But we hope it means a sweet little one will be added to our family sooner rather than later. We're just not getting any younger, and Therese would sure love a little brother or sister. All the kids would!
And if this little one comes to us via a referral from Faithful Adoption Consultants, he or she will almost certainly not be a Georgia baby. So much for descriptive blog titles.
The referral service has her finger in many adoption "pies" so to speak. When an agency has more babies than adoptive parents, they reach out to referral services who have a pool of clients. (We are now in one of those pools.) The referral service basically puts its clients in touch with more agencies, without the clients having to pay an application fee and do all the paperwork for each of those agencies. The additional fee, paperwork, and affiliation with the agency only comes into play at such time as a match occurs (birthmother chooses a couple, couple says yes).
Courtney at Faithful Adoption Consultants has a very strong track record for fast placements. She was recommended to us by an acquaintance who was recently matched with a baby due in early November.
We are still in the queue with Open Door as well. However, if we are matched with another agency through Faithful Adoption Consultants, we will have to notify Open Door immediately, per our agreement with them and out of fairness to birth mothers. We would want to avoid any situation where two birth mothers might choose us, and we'd end up having to disappoint one.
For the moment, this "branching out" has only the effect of making our pocketbooks a little lighter. But we hope it means a sweet little one will be added to our family sooner rather than later. We're just not getting any younger, and Therese would sure love a little brother or sister. All the kids would!
And if this little one comes to us via a referral from Faithful Adoption Consultants, he or she will almost certainly not be a Georgia baby. So much for descriptive blog titles.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Quiet
All is very quiet on the adoption front.
After our two disappointing fall-throughs this summer, the silence from Georgia feels deafening at times. I called our agency in Georgia last week, just to check in, just to feel like I had some contact... Always lovely, the coordinator of their minority program told me that it's just "a little slower than usual," but that our life book is being shown. I certainly didn't get any it-could-be-any-day (or even any-month) vibes. But they are a very reputable agency, and if they say they are showing our life books, they are showing our life books. And that means that something could happen any day, even if it might not feel like it at the moment.
After that phone call, I started contemplating the possibility of signing on with an additional agency or two, just to increase our odds. (Let's face it; we're not getting any younger.) I looked into some options, even sent away for some information. And then I called our local social worker Julie for a gut check.
Julie is a font of adoption wisdom, and although she was not strongly opposed to looking into other agencies, she did sort of leave me with a "you just have to be patient" sort of feeling. Signing on with more agencies means more paperwork and more fees. And we're with a great place that has a wonderful track record. Talking it out with Julie and hearing my own words about needing to just be more patient helped me conclude that we're in the right place for now.
So we wait, no less anxious or impatient if you want the unvarnished truth. But as I'm growing to understand, uncertainty is very much a part of the adoption process.
After our two disappointing fall-throughs this summer, the silence from Georgia feels deafening at times. I called our agency in Georgia last week, just to check in, just to feel like I had some contact... Always lovely, the coordinator of their minority program told me that it's just "a little slower than usual," but that our life book is being shown. I certainly didn't get any it-could-be-any-day (or even any-month) vibes. But they are a very reputable agency, and if they say they are showing our life books, they are showing our life books. And that means that something could happen any day, even if it might not feel like it at the moment.
After that phone call, I started contemplating the possibility of signing on with an additional agency or two, just to increase our odds. (Let's face it; we're not getting any younger.) I looked into some options, even sent away for some information. And then I called our local social worker Julie for a gut check.
Julie is a font of adoption wisdom, and although she was not strongly opposed to looking into other agencies, she did sort of leave me with a "you just have to be patient" sort of feeling. Signing on with more agencies means more paperwork and more fees. And we're with a great place that has a wonderful track record. Talking it out with Julie and hearing my own words about needing to just be more patient helped me conclude that we're in the right place for now.
So we wait, no less anxious or impatient if you want the unvarnished truth. But as I'm growing to understand, uncertainty is very much a part of the adoption process.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
We're Learning How to Roll with these Fall-Throughs
We have had another adoption fall-through.
On Thursday, as Joe was home recuperating from knee surgery, we received a call from our adoption agency. They said a woman named Jamie had chosen us to be adoptive parents of her baby boy, due on Saturday. We were thrilled.
Since then, however, Jamie has cut off all contact with the agency and has disappeared. When her cousin told the caseworker that she didn't know where Jamie was and couldn't get a hold of her either, we were told that we were officially being placed back in the queue.
So here we are... After five days of thinking a new baby might be in our very near future, we find ourselves waiting once again.
Patience is a virtue; I keep telling myself that. :)
On Thursday, as Joe was home recuperating from knee surgery, we received a call from our adoption agency. They said a woman named Jamie had chosen us to be adoptive parents of her baby boy, due on Saturday. We were thrilled.
Since then, however, Jamie has cut off all contact with the agency and has disappeared. When her cousin told the caseworker that she didn't know where Jamie was and couldn't get a hold of her either, we were told that we were officially being placed back in the queue.
So here we are... After five days of thinking a new baby might be in our very near future, we find ourselves waiting once again.
Patience is a virtue; I keep telling myself that. :)
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Back in the Groove
After walking around in something of a stupor for the last day or two after our big let-down, things are starting to feel "normal" again.
The words my old law school classmate sent on Monday morning brought us great comfort. She wrote,
"Knowing she did not have to raise the baby and that there was a family willing to take the baby and love her, let this Mom DECIDE she could do it rather than feeling forced into it and bitter. What a gift you have given both Mom and daughter."
I cried when I read those words from my pal, Katie. There is much to contemplate in those words, and they provide a reason to keep praying and have great hope for this little girl, her mother, and their future together.
I admit to jumping a little faster now each time the phone rings, still conditioned from the weekend's important calls. And we wait just a bit impatiently for the arrival of the next phone call from Open Door.
We're also living vicariously through the excitement of another family who is in Georgia picking up their baby as I type. Although we don't know this family personally, it appears from their blog that they are going through the same agency and the same minority program. We are thrilled for them and can't wait to hear the update.
The words my old law school classmate sent on Monday morning brought us great comfort. She wrote,
"Knowing she did not have to raise the baby and that there was a family willing to take the baby and love her, let this Mom DECIDE she could do it rather than feeling forced into it and bitter. What a gift you have given both Mom and daughter."
I cried when I read those words from my pal, Katie. There is much to contemplate in those words, and they provide a reason to keep praying and have great hope for this little girl, her mother, and their future together.
I admit to jumping a little faster now each time the phone rings, still conditioned from the weekend's important calls. And we wait just a bit impatiently for the arrival of the next phone call from Open Door.
We're also living vicariously through the excitement of another family who is in Georgia picking up their baby as I type. Although we don't know this family personally, it appears from their blog that they are going through the same agency and the same minority program. We are thrilled for them and can't wait to hear the update.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
We're Heartbroken
We received a call this morning around 10:00 am, informing us of the wonderful news that a healthy baby girl, 6 lb, 3 oz, had been born. I asked if the birth mother was still thinking she'd place the baby for adoption. The case worker said, "absolutely yes." This is a very firm case. She has never wavered in her decision to place this baby. We were told to pack our bags immediately in order to try to be in Georgia before the baby was released from the hospital.
You can imagine the flurry of excitement around here. The kids were just beside themselves. Joe and I frantically tried to wrap up loose ends and begin packing.
And then came the phone call at 1:30 pm. The birth mother, bless her heart, changed her mind and decided she's going to parent the baby.
It's hard to express the range of emotions we've experienced in the last 18 hours. It's numbing and heartbreaking at times. But we now have two special people who will remain in our hearts and prayers for a lifetime.
You can imagine the flurry of excitement around here. The kids were just beside themselves. Joe and I frantically tried to wrap up loose ends and begin packing.
And then came the phone call at 1:30 pm. The birth mother, bless her heart, changed her mind and decided she's going to parent the baby.
It's hard to express the range of emotions we've experienced in the last 18 hours. It's numbing and heartbreaking at times. But we now have two special people who will remain in our hearts and prayers for a lifetime.
Friday, May 29, 2009
We Have News!
God-willing, we may be adoptive parents very, very soon!
Here are the events as they have unfolded over the last nine days:
Wednesday, May 20th: We received a call from Open Door, informing us that our family had been chosen by a birth mother. The birth mother felt that she was eight months pregnant and likely due in mid- to late-June. That day, we received the birth mother's medical records as well as some information about the birth father. The birth mother is Caucasian, and the birth father is Jamaican.
Saturday, May 23rd: I emailed Debbie at Open Door to ask her some additional questions. We received her response and felt even more settled with information that appeared to make this adoption look very solid.
Today, May 29th: We learned that the birth mother was scheduled for an OB appointment yesterday. We waited for word, especially interested in confirmation of a due date. When they word never came, we wondered what was happening... Joe and I slipped away for a dinner date. While at dinner, we received the most unexpected news: Our little one's birth mother was in labor! Receiving a follow-up phone call, we learned of her progression, and we sent a message to her via the case worker.
The news that she is in labor (even as I type this) was so enormously unexpected. We were anticipating a late June trip to Georgia! Now we're busy thinking about leaving in the next day or two. So many emotions, so much to do, such excitement!
On our way home from dinner tonight, we drove by the house of friends where our two oldest daughters are attending a slumber party. We wanted to tell them the news in person, and we wanted them to be able to pray for the birth mother and Wee One tonight. They were so very excited.
This is one momentous night.
If all goes well, we could be leaving for Georgia, to meet our newest bambino/a in a matter of days.
Please keep birthmom, baby and all the Leones in your prayers!
Here are the events as they have unfolded over the last nine days:
Wednesday, May 20th: We received a call from Open Door, informing us that our family had been chosen by a birth mother. The birth mother felt that she was eight months pregnant and likely due in mid- to late-June. That day, we received the birth mother's medical records as well as some information about the birth father. The birth mother is Caucasian, and the birth father is Jamaican.
Saturday, May 23rd: I emailed Debbie at Open Door to ask her some additional questions. We received her response and felt even more settled with information that appeared to make this adoption look very solid.
Today, May 29th: We learned that the birth mother was scheduled for an OB appointment yesterday. We waited for word, especially interested in confirmation of a due date. When they word never came, we wondered what was happening... Joe and I slipped away for a dinner date. While at dinner, we received the most unexpected news: Our little one's birth mother was in labor! Receiving a follow-up phone call, we learned of her progression, and we sent a message to her via the case worker.
The news that she is in labor (even as I type this) was so enormously unexpected. We were anticipating a late June trip to Georgia! Now we're busy thinking about leaving in the next day or two. So many emotions, so much to do, such excitement!
On our way home from dinner tonight, we drove by the house of friends where our two oldest daughters are attending a slumber party. We wanted to tell them the news in person, and we wanted them to be able to pray for the birth mother and Wee One tonight. They were so very excited.
This is one momentous night.
If all goes well, we could be leaving for Georgia, to meet our newest bambino/a in a matter of days.
Please keep birthmom, baby and all the Leones in your prayers!
Rumblings...
There are rumblings from Georgia that indicate an adoption may be in our near future. I will update this blog with more specifics once things look a little more certain. Exciting times!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Telling the Family—Part II
Due to the rapid decline and death of my grandmother and the traveling and burial details that followed, we delayed telling my side of the family our news until just this week. We wanted to be sure that our focus was first on Grammy and her life and passing, rather than on our adoption news.
The evening of Grammy's funeral, we were all together -- my parents and all six of my brothers and me. It seemed the perfect time to share our news with everyone in person. There were many questions and great excitement.
There is a silver lining in every cloud. Grammy's death from advanced Alzheimer's not only brought our entire family together for the first time in ten years, but it gave us the gift of being able to transmit our exciting adoption announcement to my parents and brothers in person. I could never have imagined we'd have that opportunity. We'll remember that always.
The evening of Grammy's funeral, we were all together -- my parents and all six of my brothers and me. It seemed the perfect time to share our news with everyone in person. There were many questions and great excitement.
There is a silver lining in every cloud. Grammy's death from advanced Alzheimer's not only brought our entire family together for the first time in ten years, but it gave us the gift of being able to transmit our exciting adoption announcement to my parents and brothers in person. I could never have imagined we'd have that opportunity. We'll remember that always.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Telling the Family
We began telling our family members about our adoption news (the fact that we're in the queue awaiting an infant referral) tonight. We made it through Joe's immediate family members tonight. His mom and all eight siblings. Tomorrow night, we'll call my parents and my six brothers.
So this expecting-a-baby announcement was just so very different from the others. After all, there is no due date. Uncertainties regarding the specifics (birth time and place, for example) are complete unknowns. But considering we could, at least in theory, receive a baby referral any day, we figured we'd better begin letting the family know.
We had great fun making those calls! I'm smiling ear to ear as I type this...
So this expecting-a-baby announcement was just so very different from the others. After all, there is no due date. Uncertainties regarding the specifics (birth time and place, for example) are complete unknowns. But considering we could, at least in theory, receive a baby referral any day, we figured we'd better begin letting the family know.
We had great fun making those calls! I'm smiling ear to ear as I type this...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
And We're Off!
Now it's official. We're in the Open Door system, and our life books are being shown to birth mothers, perhaps even as we speak.
Here is the word from Open Door that arrived by email today:
Your file is complete and life books are out to consultants. Now we just need a baby!
Sort of hard to remain calm and patiently wait, you know?
Here is the word from Open Door that arrived by email today:
Your file is complete and life books are out to consultants. Now we just need a baby!
Sort of hard to remain calm and patiently wait, you know?
Formal Acceptance
Yesterday, we received our formal acceptance letter from Open Door placement agency in Georgia. How very exciting! We are praying for the birth mother and for our child who may already reside in her womb as we begin the wait.
Thank you so much for allowing your home study to be presented to our agency so that we might present your profile to An Open Door birth mothers. This letter is to let you know that your home study have been accepted into An Open Door Adoption Agency Minority Program.
***
Now you have reached the hardest part of all, the waiting. This time can be valuable to you if you use it to prepare for the birth of your baby. Just as you would prepare during the nine-month wait for your biological child, you can use this time to prepare for your adoptive child.
If you have any questions about the adoption process, please do not hesitate to call me. I truly look forward to talking with you and working together during this adoption process. Again, let me encourage you to be patient and remember that God's timing is perfect. When you place your birth mother in His hands, leave her there with Him knowing all will be well.
What beautiful words! I love this placement agency already.
Thank you so much for allowing your home study to be presented to our agency so that we might present your profile to An Open Door birth mothers. This letter is to let you know that your home study have been accepted into An Open Door Adoption Agency Minority Program.
***
Now you have reached the hardest part of all, the waiting. This time can be valuable to you if you use it to prepare for the birth of your baby. Just as you would prepare during the nine-month wait for your biological child, you can use this time to prepare for your adoptive child.
If you have any questions about the adoption process, please do not hesitate to call me. I truly look forward to talking with you and working together during this adoption process. Again, let me encourage you to be patient and remember that God's timing is perfect. When you place your birth mother in His hands, leave her there with Him knowing all will be well.
What beautiful words! I love this placement agency already.
Monday, March 2, 2009
And the Wait Begins
We just received this extremely exciting email from our Georgia placement agency today:
Your home study has arrived!!!!! I'll read it and send you an acceptance
letter. This means your books can be shown to birth mothers.
I can't begin to tell you the extent of our excitement (and butterflies). Now the wait officially begins. I wonder how long it will be?
Your home study has arrived!!!!! I'll read it and send you an acceptance
letter. This means your books can be shown to birth mothers.
I can't begin to tell you the extent of our excitement (and butterflies). Now the wait officially begins. I wonder how long it will be?
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Where We Are and Where We've Been
Today I am setting up a blog to chronicle the steps we've taken and the exciting path we're traveling as we head into the world of domestic infant adoption. I anticipate that this blog will serve someday as a bit of a "baby book" for the wee one who will someday call us family.
We currently have five wonderful biological children ranging in age from three to twelve. For a variety of reasons, we have decided to add to our family by adoption. We couldn't be more excited!
After considering both international and domestic adoption, we settled on a domestic infant adoption through Open Door placement agency in Georgia. We decided to apply to their African American infant adoption program. This means, as Caucasian parents, that we will be adopting trans-racially, God-willing. We do not plan to make a gender request.
The Adoption Chronology to Date
February 2008: We met for the first time with our chosen social worker, Julie Dahlen of Adoption Advocates. She walked us through the basic adoption questions and considerations and loaded us up with a plethora of information on both international and domestic adoption. At that time, we were leaning seriously toward international adoption, and we were looking into Ethiopia and India as possibilities. (We are considered too old or already parenting too many children for a number of the other countries.)
March 2008: We were surprised but overjoyed by the news of my pregnancy. We put our adoption plans on hold, and relished the thought of new little one arriving in nine months.
April 2008: We suffered our first miscarriage, and we laid our Baby Mary to rest in a beautiful ceremony. Little Mary had Trisomy 15 and only made it to Week 8 in utero. We are told that even if she would have made it to birth, she would likely not have lived long. Mary's remains rest in a beautiful hilltop cemetery on the grounds of an old Catholic church in Perry, Wisconsin.
May 2008: We enjoyed our spring and became acquainted with some new friends (I'll call them the Smiths, for the sake of privacy), a wonderful family who was well-into the process of a domestic infant adoption. Their friendship would prove transforming, and their inspiration would be the turning point in our adoption process.
Summer 2008: We became fast friends with the Smiths and shared in their joy as they adopted their infant son through Open Door's African American adoption program. With the adoption of their son, the Smiths created a blended (birth & biological) family, much like we hope to create for ourselves. What a beautiful family!
October 2008: Inspired by the Smiths, we re-initiated our meetings with Julie. During our first meeting of the fall, we were able to ask all our questions on the topic of domestic adoption. We took the paperwork home. It didn't take us long to determine that we wanted to move forward and to pursue a domestic infant adoption. We quickly found ourselves hip-deep in meetings and paperwork. We also learned that we would need to pick another agency -- a placement agency. Julie's agency, Adoption Advocates, would essentially serve as the requisite local home study agency, while the second agency would act as the placement agency. We began our placement agency search. Based on personal recommendations, we narrowed it down to two agencies: St. Joseph's Adoption Ministry in Kansas City and Open Door in Georgia.
November 2008: We completed the first wave of paperwork for our home study agency, Adoption Advocates, including the somewhat challenging "comfort level" worksheet.
December 2008: We received our second round of paperwork, met with social worker Julie numerous times, gathered necessary documents (birth certificates, marriage certificates, home and health insurance documentation, kids' immunization records, blah, blah, blah)and completed the required doctor appointments, blood tests, and fingerprinting.
We had our "home visit" just before Christmas. With the Christmas rush and home-study nerves, I can't say it was a completely stress-free experience, but Julie was wonderful, and we had a lovely meeting and visit. All went well.
We resolved to finish all the paperwork before the Christmas rush, which we did successfully. A mountain of paperwork, but so very worth it. It allowed us to enjoy Christmas without the home study paperwork hanging over our heads.
During December, we also finalized our decision to work with Open Door placement agency in Georgia. We chose Open Door for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the rave reviews of the Smiths. Open Door is a Christian agency which provides exceptional comfort, care, and support to birth mothers throughout the pregnancy and the relinquishment process. This was something extremely important to us as pro-life Catholics desiring to support and encourage mothers who have made the sacrifices necessary to give life to their children. We have also been told that there are no financial surprises with Open Door. Since money is not growing on trees in our vicinity, this is important to us. Open Door refers only Georgia infants for adoption, which means there is more certainty in terms of knowing the laws that will apply to our adoption situation. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the need for adoptive families of African American infants in Georgia is startlingly high; thus, the wait for a child is relatively short.
During the kids' Christmas vacation, we completed the paperwork for Open Door (a bit less intimidating than the paperwork required by our local home study agency) and also created a "life book." Our life book is a digitized scrapbook that provides a window into our family life for the birth mothers to view. By looking at photos of our family and by reading our birth mother letter and our profile, a birth mother can decide whether to choose us as adoptive parents. We used Shutterfly photo service to create our digitized life books, and we were pleased with the results. Promptly after mailing the completed paperwork and the life books (original, plus ten duplicates), we received from Open Door our "acceptance letter." Our first big milestone.
January 2009: We completed the remaining home study meetings with Julie. During these meetings, we discussed adoption in general, attachment and bonding, answering strangers' questions (or not), family dynamics, and becoming a distinctive bi-racial family. The meetings were extremely helpful and informative, allowing us to consider issues that may not have been obvious to us otherwise.
February 2009: Julie completed our home study and mailed it to Open Door in Georgia. The home study states, in no uncertain terms, that Julie at Adoption Advocates recommends us to Open Door for the adoption of an infant within their domestic program. Another milestone!
March 1, 2009: We created this blog today. We find ourselves in a holding pattern now, awaiting a call from Open Door alerting us that they have received our home study and that our file is therefore complete. I am expecting that news to come tomorrow (Monday), as the home study was mailed on Wednesday. At that point, Open Door will begin showing our life books to expectant mothers. And then we'll just wait. And pray. And talk about baby names...
We currently have five wonderful biological children ranging in age from three to twelve. For a variety of reasons, we have decided to add to our family by adoption. We couldn't be more excited!
After considering both international and domestic adoption, we settled on a domestic infant adoption through Open Door placement agency in Georgia. We decided to apply to their African American infant adoption program. This means, as Caucasian parents, that we will be adopting trans-racially, God-willing. We do not plan to make a gender request.
The Adoption Chronology to Date
February 2008: We met for the first time with our chosen social worker, Julie Dahlen of Adoption Advocates. She walked us through the basic adoption questions and considerations and loaded us up with a plethora of information on both international and domestic adoption. At that time, we were leaning seriously toward international adoption, and we were looking into Ethiopia and India as possibilities. (We are considered too old or already parenting too many children for a number of the other countries.)
March 2008: We were surprised but overjoyed by the news of my pregnancy. We put our adoption plans on hold, and relished the thought of new little one arriving in nine months.
April 2008: We suffered our first miscarriage, and we laid our Baby Mary to rest in a beautiful ceremony. Little Mary had Trisomy 15 and only made it to Week 8 in utero. We are told that even if she would have made it to birth, she would likely not have lived long. Mary's remains rest in a beautiful hilltop cemetery on the grounds of an old Catholic church in Perry, Wisconsin.
May 2008: We enjoyed our spring and became acquainted with some new friends (I'll call them the Smiths, for the sake of privacy), a wonderful family who was well-into the process of a domestic infant adoption. Their friendship would prove transforming, and their inspiration would be the turning point in our adoption process.
Summer 2008: We became fast friends with the Smiths and shared in their joy as they adopted their infant son through Open Door's African American adoption program. With the adoption of their son, the Smiths created a blended (birth & biological) family, much like we hope to create for ourselves. What a beautiful family!
October 2008: Inspired by the Smiths, we re-initiated our meetings with Julie. During our first meeting of the fall, we were able to ask all our questions on the topic of domestic adoption. We took the paperwork home. It didn't take us long to determine that we wanted to move forward and to pursue a domestic infant adoption. We quickly found ourselves hip-deep in meetings and paperwork. We also learned that we would need to pick another agency -- a placement agency. Julie's agency, Adoption Advocates, would essentially serve as the requisite local home study agency, while the second agency would act as the placement agency. We began our placement agency search. Based on personal recommendations, we narrowed it down to two agencies: St. Joseph's Adoption Ministry in Kansas City and Open Door in Georgia.
November 2008: We completed the first wave of paperwork for our home study agency, Adoption Advocates, including the somewhat challenging "comfort level" worksheet.
December 2008: We received our second round of paperwork, met with social worker Julie numerous times, gathered necessary documents (birth certificates, marriage certificates, home and health insurance documentation, kids' immunization records, blah, blah, blah)and completed the required doctor appointments, blood tests, and fingerprinting.
We had our "home visit" just before Christmas. With the Christmas rush and home-study nerves, I can't say it was a completely stress-free experience, but Julie was wonderful, and we had a lovely meeting and visit. All went well.
We resolved to finish all the paperwork before the Christmas rush, which we did successfully. A mountain of paperwork, but so very worth it. It allowed us to enjoy Christmas without the home study paperwork hanging over our heads.
During December, we also finalized our decision to work with Open Door placement agency in Georgia. We chose Open Door for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the rave reviews of the Smiths. Open Door is a Christian agency which provides exceptional comfort, care, and support to birth mothers throughout the pregnancy and the relinquishment process. This was something extremely important to us as pro-life Catholics desiring to support and encourage mothers who have made the sacrifices necessary to give life to their children. We have also been told that there are no financial surprises with Open Door. Since money is not growing on trees in our vicinity, this is important to us. Open Door refers only Georgia infants for adoption, which means there is more certainty in terms of knowing the laws that will apply to our adoption situation. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the need for adoptive families of African American infants in Georgia is startlingly high; thus, the wait for a child is relatively short.
During the kids' Christmas vacation, we completed the paperwork for Open Door (a bit less intimidating than the paperwork required by our local home study agency) and also created a "life book." Our life book is a digitized scrapbook that provides a window into our family life for the birth mothers to view. By looking at photos of our family and by reading our birth mother letter and our profile, a birth mother can decide whether to choose us as adoptive parents. We used Shutterfly photo service to create our digitized life books, and we were pleased with the results. Promptly after mailing the completed paperwork and the life books (original, plus ten duplicates), we received from Open Door our "acceptance letter." Our first big milestone.
January 2009: We completed the remaining home study meetings with Julie. During these meetings, we discussed adoption in general, attachment and bonding, answering strangers' questions (or not), family dynamics, and becoming a distinctive bi-racial family. The meetings were extremely helpful and informative, allowing us to consider issues that may not have been obvious to us otherwise.
February 2009: Julie completed our home study and mailed it to Open Door in Georgia. The home study states, in no uncertain terms, that Julie at Adoption Advocates recommends us to Open Door for the adoption of an infant within their domestic program. Another milestone!
March 1, 2009: We created this blog today. We find ourselves in a holding pattern now, awaiting a call from Open Door alerting us that they have received our home study and that our file is therefore complete. I am expecting that news to come tomorrow (Monday), as the home study was mailed on Wednesday. At that point, Open Door will begin showing our life books to expectant mothers. And then we'll just wait. And pray. And talk about baby names...
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